A Mouth-Watering Smooth and Spicy Habanero Garlic Mustard

Who is Danny Cash?

Spicy Food Guy has no earthly idea; probably some biker guy made good in the hot sauce business, to judge by the graphics. The look reminds Spicy Food Guy of his old army buddy from jump school about 100 years ago.

But Spicy Food Guy digresses.

Whoever the real faces are behind Danny Cash out there in the Mile High City, they sure know a thing or three about making a first class spicy garlic mustard.

This particular mustard has a very familiar smooth yellow texture. It's American, dammit, not some grainy mamsy-pamsy high-fashion mustard spread on a whole-grain cracker by some corn-holing European guy with a false sense of self-righteousness and a dandruff-flaked black sweater who has never seen a Monday Night Football game in his entire miserable life.

Not at all.

Danny Cash Flaming Habanero Mustard kicks some ass. Despite the smooth texture, the garlic comes through in fine fashion. So does the heat, but not in an overbearing way. Have it on a bologna and cheese sandwich. On white bread.

And if you are a pretentious foodie type who wants to extol the virtues of grainy European mustard, go leave your comments somewhere else. Spicy Food Guy thinks you're a Pussy.

Stagecoach Mustard Rocks the House

Spicy Food Guy is an admitted fan of Larry Kling and his Stagecoach Salsas. Fortunately for all of us, he (Larry, the Stagecoach formulator, owner, and all around very nice guy) has directed his formidable spicy culinary skills to the arena of mustards.

The result is Bubba's Jalapeno Mustard, a great addition to the Stagecoach Salsa line. Nice visual appeal; the chunks of jalapeno pepper are seen clearly through the jar.

Also, Spicy Food Guy likes that the mustard combines the light, airy tanginess of a French's type yellow mustard with the spice and burn of jalapeno peppers.

Spicy Food Guy conducted his test on a bologna and cheese sandwich, and he notes that the slow burn did not set in until after about five bites, about the perfect delay for a classic slow burn.

Trust Spicy Food Guy. Stagecoach stuff is first class and the mustard is now a permanent part of SFG's fridge.

Best Hot Sauce to Add to Chili

That's right -- it's a mustard.

A couple of years ago, Spicy Food Guy had a revelation. If the best chili cheese dogs always have mustard on them, couldn't chili itself be improved by the addition of spicy mustard?

Indeed it could.

The search for the appropriate mustard, however, took much longer. For awhile, Spicy Food Guy used the world renowned Gladys's mustard out of St. Thomas. Spicy Food Guy was turned onto Gladys by the people at Passionate Food. Gladys's mustard, while perfect for the ham and cheese sandwich, somehow did not connect perfectly with a bowl of steaming chili.

Enter Crazy Mother Pucker's Maniacal Mustard. The Crazy Mother Pucker hot sauce line has won five Golden Chile awards over the years, and the Fire Roasted Fusion Hot Sauce is one of Spicy Food Guy's hot sauce staples.

The Maniac, which has a more fiery flavor than Gladys's, adds a district mustard zest to chili that gives the overall palette a tangier and more robust flavor experience. For you Sales Guys out there, that means the chili tastes better.

Someday, when mustard in chili is a common practice, you can say "I've been doing that for years." Just Spicy Food Guy's way of making the world a little bit better place.

Best Mustard for Egg-Rolls

Recently, Sales Guy Friend of Spicy Food Guy (SGFOSFG) took two or three minutes off his busy Tuesday on the golf course to introduce Spicy Food Guy to Millers Mustard. "Try this," SGFOSFG suggested, "It's made by a friend of mine. It has a unique taste."

No lies from SGFOSFG. Miller's does indeed have a unique taste. Goes from extreme sweet to extreme heat. A very wide bandwidth of flavor.

The flavor reminded Spicy Food Guy of when he mixes the duck sauce and hot mustard from Chinese take-out to make the perfect condiment for egg-rolls (does anyone else do this?). With this inspiration, Spicy Food Guy waited until his next egg-roll encounter and brought out the Millers. Not that Spicy Food Guy likes to brag, but the fit was spot-on perfect. Millers also passes the classic ham and cheese sandwich litmus test.

Miller's is a unique Western Pennsylvania regional mustard, and according to all reports, Miller is a nice guy. Encourage him. Go get you some Miller's.

Best Green Chile Mustard You Ever Tasted

Bet you didn't know there even was such a mustard.

There is. And it kicks butt in a major league way.

First, Spicy Food Guy is here to tell you he met Mike and Diane Jaramillo at Zestfest 2007 in Fort Worth, NC, and they are just fine people who know how to make a terrific mustard.

Their Label is Old Pecos Foods and all their mustards are first class. Spicy Food Guy particularly likes the spicy Green Chile variety, and believe me, Spicy Food Guy has tried a peapot full of different mustards in his time.

Eat up, you'll love this.