Hot and Juicy Crawfish

So Spicy Food Guy has been out of commission for a while, but a recent trip to our nation's capital drove him out of his retirement.  Explanations to follow.

But let's start with one of the best meals, all time, SFG has ever eaten.  Crawfish, baby.  Two pounds of crawfish.  In spicy garlic butter sauce.  Served in a plastic bag.  With spicy fries.  And a couple of Budweisers.  At a place called Hot & Juicy Crawfish in Washington DC.  Spicy melt in your mouth goodness.

But Spicy Food Guy digresses.

Spring break, 2011.  The first step on our trip from Pittsburgh is the Summit Diner in Somerset PA.  SFG gorged on the Scrapyard, a combination of hash browns, scrapple, two eggs sunny side up, and cheddar cheese.  Pricetag of something like $4.50.  Best value meal ever.  The scrapple, which is not easy to find outside PA, was the perfect crunch to mix in the eggs and potatoes.  Great start.

Another terrific meal was the Applewood Bacon Scramble at the Open City Diner just north of downtown DC.  Two eggs sunny side up, applewood bacon, and aged white Vermont cheddar cheese all mixed together with grits on the side.  Outstanding.  Almost as good was a six ounce ribeye steak with three sunny side eggs at the Woodley Cafe, right up the street from the Open City Diner.  

Big time eating because SFG was big time walking.  Treasury tour, Ford's Theater, the Smithsonian.

March of 2010, the Smithsonian Natural History Museum opens a new exhibit called Human Origins, a 15,000 square foot space devoted to our beginnings.  Spicy Food Guy, a history buff by design, is fascinated by Human Origins.  At some point, somewhere, we started cooking with fire.  We started painting pictures.  We wrote.  Sentience.  

Even though it's a busy place, the Human Origin exhibit invites silence, thoughtfulness.  Spicy Food Guy ponders; we each get a brief turn on this planet, then we become exhibits.  In two thousand years, my life will be a mystery to some kid touring some museum.  What will he think of us?  

Spicy Food Guy is not sure, but he can chronicle.  He can write down what he sees, what he smells, what he eats.  So it's time to take up the blog again.  SFG is back.

We ate crawfish kid.  They are probably extinct in your era.

Too bad, because they kicked ass.  They were the balls.

Peace out. 

Best BBQ in Nashville and Four Meals with Pork. In a Row.

Spicy Food Guy and Great Guy Colleague of Spicy Food Guy (GGCSFG) had a full rack of ribs.

As a side.

After BBQ we went out for ice cream.  Spicy Food Guy had two dips of Tennessee Fudge in a Chocolate Chip Cookie Cone.  It was that kind of trip.  But Spicy Food Guy digresses.

As usual, for reasons best left unknown to the American public, Spicy Food Guy was out and about in the world; this time in Nashville, Tennessee.

The trip didn't begin as a BBQ orgy, but decadence has a way of gathering momentum.  This is especially true when the decadence has to do with ribs, pulled pork, bacon, and Texas sausage.  But Spicy Food Guy is getting ahead of himself again.

The origin of the BBQ binge took place at the Brookwood Farms North Carolina BBQ Pit at the Charlotte airport early in the afternoon.  During his layover, SFG happily knocked off a pulled pork sandwich with slaw and vinegar based BBQ sauce, baked beans, and a bottle of Budweiser.  Pretty sane BBQ consumption at this particular point in the trip.

Then the party went to Nashville and a couple of locals recommended Jacks BarBQue as the undisputed favorite among true BBQ enthusiasts.  Jacks has won two or three zillion awards, including "Best BBQ Sauce on the Planet" in 2004.  After tasting all eight or so homemade sauces that Jacks serves on premises, SFG agrees that the sauce is heavily competitive in planetary circles, and it's even in the realm of possibility that when the aliens land, they will want to go to Jacks.  But Spicy Food Guy digresses again.

SFG and GGCSFG went to Jacks with several other Food Enthusiast Colleagues of Spicy Food Guy (FECSFG).  The food at Jack's is served cafeteria style, and the line is long.  Orders must be placed quickly.

Spicy Food Guy decided on the three meat platter.  $13.  Really.  SFG picked the pork shoulder, ribs, and Texas sausage.  SFG also stuck with slaw and baked beans as tried and true BBQ sides.  However, because only two or three ribs came with the three meat platter, Spicy Food Guy fretted that there would be a rib shortage at the table.  That's when SFG and GGCSFG decided on the full rack of ribs as a side dish strategy.  Brilliant.

So this was Spicy Food Guy's tray -- 3 meat platter with beans, slaw, and bread.   A plate with a full rack of ribs.  Eight little plastic cups of every BBQ sauce that Jacks served.  And two beers.  Now this may sound a little over the top, but keep in mind SFG shared the ribs with GGCSFG.

The BBQ was fabulous.  The Texas sausage was packed with garlic, paprika, and juicy pork fat.  The ribs were tender with a great char and smoke ring.  The pulled pork was obviously smoked for hours and hours and had that pit-master smoky signature.

After dinner, SFG and FECSFG waddled over to the Whiskey Bent Saloon (of course it was called the Whiskey Bent Saloon, complete with an up and coming country music singer, and our table was made out of a real wagon wheel.  Really).  After digesting dinner and listening to music, SFG and FECSFG decided to head off to an old fashioned corner shop called Mike's Ice Cream Fountain.  That's where the Tennessee Fudge ice cream in a chocolate chip cookie cone moment occurred.  And yes, it was as tasty as it sounds.  Creamy.  Big ol' chunks of chocolate fudge.  A cookie cone that tasted like, well, a cookie.

Spicy Food Guy knows what you are thinking; "Surely it ended there, SFG, surely you didn't eat again for many, many days".

It's called breakfast and it took place the next morning.  Spicy Food Guy selected the Waffle House. Best breakfast at the Waffle House?  The Breakfast All-Star Special.  A waffle.  Two eggs.  Three strips of bacon.  Hash browns (Spicy Food Guy had his hash browns "smothered and covered", that is, grilled with onions and topped with a slice of processed American cheese.  Generally the best hash browns on the planet).  Toast.  Coffee.  SFG added orange juice.  A stick-to-your-ribs breakfast.

Ate every bite.  The force is strong in Spicy Food Guy, and the midichlorians were hungry.

And maybe, perhaps, that would have ended the pork orgy.  But Spicy Food Guy had to fly back through the Charlotte airport.  Hit the BBQ Pit on the flip side.  Pulled pork again, slaw again, beans again.

And then, and only then, did Spicy Food Guy decide he was full.

Totally true story.  Peace out, BBQ fans.  I am one of you.

Best Spicy Breakfast Sandwich in Pittsburgh, Perhaps Anywhere

Spicy Food Guy was home for a few days when he was tipped off about Gab and Eat by some local, in-the-know diner types (LITKDT).

"Go there", urged LITKDT, they have the best burgers in the 'Burgh.  They're Balls!"

OK, they didn't really say the burgers were balls, it's just that SFG loves the expression so, and it seemed to fit in the story.  And LITKDT aren't the only Gab and Eat advocates.  Several 'Burgh bloggers have hailed Gab and Eat as the "best diner in the 'Burgh".  Where there is advocacy there is substance, at least when it comes to hole-in-the-wall-diners.  The same cannot be said about the Republican party, but Spicy Food Guy digresses.

So off Spicy Food Guy went to the Gab and Eat, though he passed by it a few times because he blinked.  Or sneezed.  It doesn't take much to miss the ol' Gab and Eat.

Anyway, SFG had every intention of ordering one of the Gab and Eat burgers.  It was a mission.

Until he spotted the John Boy on the menu.  The John Boy.  Hot homemade sausage, egg, cheese, peppers and onions, all on Italian toast.  Not just any Italian toast -- but Mancini's Italian toast.  Mancini's, the makers of fabulous bread and perhaps the best pepperoni rolls in the region (that's a whole other blog post).

Let Spicy Food Guy say this about the John Boy:  it's spicy, it's cheesy gooey, it plays the egg and sausage perfectly together, it's the best bread ever, it's one of the best breakfast sandwiches in the free world, and tops anything in North Korea, Iran, and Iraq. 

If the John Boy could talk it would say "I have been called the breakfast sandwich of my generation among those who have tasted me" in a similar sort of way Will Ferrell called himself the songbird of his generation in the movie "Stepbrothers".

You should see Stepbrothers because it is hysterical.  You should eat the John Boy at Gab and Eat because it's a one of a kind Pittsburgh breakfast sandwich.  So says Spicy Food Guy.

Peace out.

Baked Beans for Breakfast is Balls and Other UK Food Observations

Let Spicy Food Guy begin by saying the highlight of his trip to the UK had to be when Esteemed Colleague of Spicy Food Guy (ECSFG) complimented a particularly flavorful curry by stating:

"Oh that's Balls."

Spicy Food Guy delights in this succinct and apt descriptor.  In fact, SFG earnestly awaits the evening, sometime in the near future, when a snooty wine sommelier pours a sliver of some fine merlot so that SFG can perform the ritualistic taste test.

"It's Balls," Spicy Food Guy will state authoritatively to the sommelier, "we'll all take some."  And then Spicy Food Guy will whirl back to the table and re-start the dinner conversation before the sommelier can manage a stuttered response.  And in his head, Spicy Food Guy will chuckle deeply.

But Spicy Food Guy digresses.

As usual, for reasons best left unknown to the American public, Spicy Food Guy was out and about in the world; this time London, England.  Specifically, SFG was rather trapped in a hotel close to terminal 4 of Heathrow airport.

Now SFG has been to London perhaps a dozen times, and as the tourist lore goes, the food is nothing to write a blog post about.  The exceptions are curry houses and baked beans for breakfast.

The English have a thing for baked beans, and beans are officially a part of a "full English breakfast".  SFG thinks the English are on to something here.  Baked beans mixed in with some fried eggs and pieces of bacon is a great combination of flavor and texture.  It's balls.  When you think about it, beans and bacon and eggs is a better combo than grilled burgers and beans.  It's not better than pulled pork and beans, but the egg combo is right up there in terms of a natural fit.

But this whole baked bean thing is not what SFG is here to discuss.  Spicy Food Guy is here to discuss curry houses and steering wheels.

So the story begins when SFG and about six Esteemed Colleagues of Spicy Food Guy (ECSSFG, because it's plural) decided to go out for some curry one evening so as to have at least one decent dinner during our stay in London.  Some of the ECSSFG also decided that a few pints at the pub would be an excellent precursor to the Indian dinner.

Needless to say, spirits were high and the mood light when the van showed up to cart SFG and ECSSFG to the restaurant.  Much to the delight of the rest of us, one ECSSFG decided to use this van ride to vent in a typical American style:

"Look," half looped ECSSFG postured to the driver, "the automobile was invented in America, right?  The automobile was first manufactured in America, right?"  

The driver did not respond.

"So," ECSSFG continued, ignoring the driver's silence, "what on earth possessed you to move the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"  

You could tell ECSSFG was genuine in his inquiry, and the driver let a small smile escape (which is the British equivalent of a hearty laugh).

In any case, SFG and ECSSFG made it safely to "Achari, Flavour of India", the locally recommended curry house.

And the curry was fabulous, as it always is in London.  SFG and ECSSFG decided to order a half dozen or so appetizers and a half dozen entrees and just split them all up.  SFG loved the fried onion bhajees as an appetizer (as wiki says, think potato fritters).  Additionally, SFG forcefully argued that one of the entrees should be a spicy lamb vindaloo, despite the hesitant misgivings of ECSSFG.  The lamb vindaloo ultimately inspired the "that's balls" comment, so Spicy Food Guy felt extremely vindicated.

The curry sauces were packed with flavor, with tastes of tumeric, garlic, ginger, and mustard.  The meats were tender, the beer cold, the staff proud, the company fine.  All in all, a thoroughly enjoyable UK evening.

Next morning, Spicy Food Guy had baked beans for breakfast.  Sometimes everything goes right.

PS, "Baked Beans for Breakfast", by Ruth Chew, was one of SFG's favorite childhood books.  Coincidence, or a higher level of order that sustains balance in the universe?  SFG thinks its all just one big mystery. 

Best Cajun Appetizer Ever

As usual, for reasons best left unknown to the American Public, Spicy Food Guy was out and about in the world; this time in Covington Kentucky.  

From a food perspective, the trip didn't look all that promising at first.  SFG rode in a small airplane, ate airport food, drank airport beer, stayed in an airport hotel, you get the drift.

So imagine Spicy Food Guy's delightful reaction to being guided to Dee Felice Cafe, a homey and authentic cajun restaurant that seems to have been tossed into the middle of Northern Kentucky via some wormhole in the New Orlean's space time continuum.  It's a cozy little space with friendly staff, lots of window seating, and a little stage to accommodate live jazz from Tuesdays through Saturdays.  Spicy Food Guy liked the place immediately.

And then came the two appetizers, both of which Spicy Food Guy rates right up there with the best of any appetizers he has consumed as part of his lifetime habit of eating food.  Appetizer one, Ricardo's Ravioli, was a deep fried ricotta and jalapeño ravioli that was covered in a jalapeño and crawfish cream sauce.  The other was a grilled portabella mushroom with chicken and slathered with a fresh leek cream sauce.  Both appetizers were fabulous, the ravioli in particular was captivating. 

Spicy Food Guy can't put his finger on what exactly amped up his attraction to the ravioli, but it had a lot to do with there being a lot more substance to the dish than meets the eye.  First seen, the appetizer looks like something directly out of a swanky Manhattan "Froo Froo" Restaurant; kind of spoiled and pretentious and only to be consumed by uptight foodies and restaurant critics.  But, as it turns out, the ravioli has a real country and southern comfort flavor that is both simple (from the cream and pasta) and complex (from the crawfish and jalapeño) at the same time.  And, best of all, a nice streak of spice and heat runs through the entire dish, adding a sort of seduction element to the whole appetizer.  At it's essence, the ravioli represents everything Spicy Food Guy celebrates and loves when it comes to food.  It captured SFG's heart, forever.

So don't miss this place if you are in the Cincinnati area.  And send SFG some ravioli on your way out the door.  Spicy Food Guy misses it.  Really.       

Pennsylvania Pilots Wine in Grocery Stores (30 Years After Everyone Else)

Spicy Food Guy is highly amused by the following  news story from an article entitled "State pops the cork on wine kiosks" in today's Pittsburgh Post Gazette:

"The Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board began a pilot program of wine-vending kiosks inside two Harrisburg area supermarkets on Wednesday.  If all goes well, similar kiosks may start popping up in Western Pennsylvania in August, said PLCB spokeswoman Stacey Witalec."

Let's make sure Spicy Food Guy has this straight:  Pennsylvania is piloting, in two whole locations, an adult beverage grocery distribution strategy that has been fully rolled out in the other 49 states for the past three decades?  Now, is this front page news because the media perceives the strategy as progressive, or because they view it as embarrassing? 

Spicy Food Guy can just envision next week's headline:

"Pennsylvania embarks on an ambitious 15 year development plan to sell beer in convenience stores".

Please someone help.

Refried Beans, Jalapeño Peppers, and How to Eat at All-Inclusive Resorts

"I bet I can eat refried beans and jalapeño peppers for 12 straight meals."

So did Spicy Food Guy toss out his "Cool Hand Luke" challenge to his family members, all of whom rolled their eyes and went back to enjoying the sun and warmth of the Riviera Maya.

As it turns out, Spicy Food Guy rather enjoyed the refried beans and jalapeño pepper challenge, though it became the bane of existence for those who had to share the same bathroom as SFG

Spicy Food Guy and his family were enjoying some quality time at the Occidental Grand Xcaret a couple months back.  In prior years, the SFG family had vacationed at the Grand Sirenis Riviera Maya.  All-Inclusive Resorts are hit and miss establishments when it comes to food.  A quick perusal of Tripadvisor.com will show reviews that range anywhere from "the resort had the most fabulous food ever and I gained 10 pounds" to "I couldn't find a single dish that wasn't undercooked and my husband ended up in the hospital with food poisoning."  But given that SFG has some experience in these types of resorts, he thought he'd provide some guidance to those vacationers that might be headed down for their first visit.

But first some setup; most of the food service offerings in all inclusive resorts work in the same general manner.  A grand buffet anchors most of the meals, the selection is huge, and you can eat there with no reservations for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  Most evenings the grand buffet has a specific theme, such as seafood, Mexican, or Italian.  In addition to the buffet, most resorts offer pool side lunch cafe's where you can get standard lunch fare -- tacos, burgers, pizza, hot dogs, nachos, that sort of thing.  Finally, all the resorts will have anywhere from two to five standalone dinner restaurants that require reservations and have some sort of dress code.  The restaurants range anywhere from Japanese to Mediterranean to Steakhouses.  Finally, most places offer some limited version of room service.

So how in the hell do you decide where to go and what to eat?  As I said, Spicy Food Guy is here to help.
  
Tip 1 -- Go big on breakfast. First, it doesn't take much to prepare a fairly elegant breakfast, and most resorts do a terrific job of setting up a nice brunch-like atmosphere.  A good omelet, prepared in front of you with your ingredients of choice, is always a great way to start the day.  And because most resorts are located in sunny warm environments, there is almost always a broad selection of fresh fruit.  The kids can enjoy cereal, scrambled eggs, or french toast.  Spicy Food Guy generally steers away from bacon and sausages, mostly because they always appear to be undercooked.  Plus, making breakfast the big meal of the day gives you at least a remote chance of burning off some calories before day's end.

Tip 2 -- Go local.  Shockingly, the best food in most Mexican resorts is, well, Mexican.  It's what they know.  The pica de gallo is always fresh and delicious.  The refried beans are outstanding.  Tinga Pueblana, Mexican pulled pork, practically melts in your mouth.  It always cracks Spicy Food Guy to read a tripadvisor.com review that says "We were really disappointed with the food at the Italian restaurant in the resort".  Really?  You were?  Spicy Food Guy is always soooo tempted to leave a comment like "No shit, bright eyes, Italy was located on another damn continent last time I checked.  Of course the Italian food sucks in Mexico.  Dumbass."  But SFG never writes this, he just thinks it.

Tip 3 -- Lunch 1 and Lunch 2.  This is a food strategy that was developed by Independent Thinking Stepdaughter of SFG (ITSOSFG).  Most of the poolside lunch cafe's are open from about 11:30 to 2:30, and they are jam packed from 12:15 to about 1:30.  So ITSOSFG came up with the brilliant idea of having a smallish lunch around 11:30 when the crowds were light and the food had just been set out, and then repeating the process at about 2:00.  Lunch 1 and lunch 2.  Helps stop binge eating, you get a quiet lunch, and really fast service.  Brilliant.

Tip 4 -- Avoid shellfish.  Admittedly, this is kind of a no-brainer.  The chances of getting food poisoning from shellfish, especially when served raw, is well documented and known.  Now Spicy Food Guy loves oysters, but he is not about to risk a spending a sunny day in the Riviera Maya vomiting in his bathroom.  Just stay away from the shellfish.

Tip 5 -- Straight from the bottle.  We all know American and European tummies don't always handle Mexican water very well.  So avoid it.  Drink water from water bottles.  Drink beer or soda poured from a bottle.  And is there anything finer than the thoughtful, well timed tequila shot?  Spicy Food Guy thinks not.

Spicy Food Guy hopes you enjoy your trip, and he highly recommends the jalapeño peppers and refried beans.  Peace out, Amigos.