Taco Bell Volcano Taco Delivers Some Real Heat

Spicy Food Guy, who usually chuckles disdainfully at any fast food chain that touts one of their offerings as "spicy", is happy to report that the Taco Bell Volcano Taco actually produces a distinct and noticeable burn.

Add one each of a Fire and Hot sauce packet and any chilehead is set for a real, honest to god spicy fast food snack.

Spicy Food Guy crosses his fingers in hopes that the Volcano is a harbinger of future spiciness in the fast food industry.

Besr Burger Chain in the Flyover States

The East Coast has Five Guys.

The West Coast has In-n-Out.

Move over, coastline dwellers, the best burger in the land may well just dwell in some towns and cities you have only seen from your window seats during your last red-eye.

Shiver in fear, big burger chains, there is a threat from the Midwest, and it calls itself Culvers.

Suffice it to say, for reasons best left unknown to the American Public, Spicy Food Guy recently found himself in Duluth Minnesota, which has recently been named by Outside Magazine as one of the top ten "Greatest Outside Towns" in America. This is especially true if you are in the business of outdoor Popsicle preservation. Cold, it is, in Duluth. But SFG digresses.

Looking for a place to lunch in Duluth, Spicy Food Guy spotted a fast food looking place that was just flooded with cars and people. At 2:00 in the afternoon. Curiosity took over, and Spicy Food Guy elected to give it a try. Therein he found the famous Butterburger (pictured here), and a big damn secret unknown outside the Flyover States.

Culvers, founded by a visionary couple in Wisconsin, features the Butterburger as well as a host of other entrees. And a whole menu of desserts, which are fabulous in their own right.

But the burgers, by God, the burgers, they are rapturous. Served fresh, never frozen. Condiments served on the bottom of the burger so they don't leapfrog over your taste buds. To die for. Spicy Food Guy was totally unsurprised to learn that "Restaurants and Institutions" Magazine had named Culvers as the "Best Burger Chain in America" in 2007.

Burger fans, heaven awaits you in Wisconsin and several other Great Lakes States. So says Spicy Food Guy.

Best 5 Fast Food Product Innovations From the Past 44 Years

The best 5? Criteria are as follows:

• Only national fast food chains are eligible.
• Marketing and packaging can't be the source of the product innovation. No Happy Meals.
• The innovation does not count if it represents a change in the way an item is cooked or prepared. Taking something that was fried and offering it as grilled doesn't count.
• The product innovation had to be developed only after the initial menu was in place.
• The new item cannot have been readily available outside the fast food industry when it was first offered, so fish sandwiches and chili dogs don't count.
• The item must still be on the menu.
• The innovation must have been developed in Spicy Food Guy's lifetime; hence the 44 year rule.
• The innovation must represent a significant and radical change in a food offering. Spicy Food Guy recognizes that he is entering a gray area here. Was the Big Mac a radical change, or just another way to dress a burger? Was the the launch of the Spicy Chicken Sandwich at Wendy's just a flavoring change to the chicken sandwich, or did it act as a catalyst that allowed the fast food industry to begin to unleash the power of hot spices? These are the huge, universe-shifting issues that Spicy Food Guy will wrestle with and ponder long after this post has been published.

And the winners, in no particular order, are:

1. The Dairy Queen Blizzard. The Blizzard is perhaps the unexpected surprise on the list. A frozen milkshake ice cream sort of thing with candy, yes candy, all through it. Fabulous beyond measure. Spawned a whole sub-industry in the ice cream world. Think Cold Stone Creamery. And every ice cream isle in every grocery store in America now has dozens of ice creams packed with candy. The Blizzard started it all. It commands our respect and reverence. Plus, when the folks at Dairy Queen hand it to you, they flip it upside down for a second. That, says Spicy Food Guy, is way cool.



2. The McDonald's Egg (or Sausage) McMuffin. Not only did the McMuffin brilliantly combine the best parts of breakfast into a sandwich, it added an entire meal to the fast food industry. Arguably, the Egg McMuffin is solely responsible for a significant change in the breakfast eating behaviors of an entire nation. Just awe inspiring. Breakfast sandwiches are available everywhere now, including in the frozen food isles at grocery stores.



3. The Taco Bell Double Decker Taco. Spicy Food Guy recognizes that the Double Decker Taco might be a tough sell as a top five innovation, but hear him out. The Double Decker changed the entire flavor and texture profile of the taco. Soft and Crunchy was no longer an either-or proposition; you could suddenly have both. And the refried beans added a subtle layer of additional flavor to the simple taco. Tastes absolutely fabulous. And it has lasted on a menu that seems to change every month.



4. The McDonald's Chicken McNuggets. Spicy Food Guy loves the simplicity of the McNugget; boneless fried chicken gone portable. Suddenly you could eat fried chicken in the car. Came in a convenient small box. Plus you could dip it in sauce without making a mess. And you didn't have to bother with greasy chicken bones. Kids went bonkers for it. Is there any family restaurant or grocery store in all of America where you can't get some version of a boneless fried chicken strip? Spicy Food Guy can't think of one either. The McNugget started it all.



5. Pizza Hut's Meat Lover's Pizza. Spicy Food Guy supposes that the Meat Lover's Pizza is a controversial addition to the best 5 list. After all, isn't the Meat Lover's just another way to serve pizza? Spicy Food Guy thinks not. In fact, Spicy Food Guy posits that the Meat Lover's represents the 20th century Americanization of the pizza pie. The Meat Lover's is the Porterhouse of pizza; bold, excessive, decadent, and aspirational. It is designed for people who love big taste and big meals. The Meat Lover's led to an entire line of "Lover's" pizzas at Pizza Hut, and a version of the Lover's can be found in every frozen pizza brand in grocery store freezers. The Meat Lover's has earned its top 5 billing.

So there it is. Spicy Food Guy is aware he has left significant product innovations off the list. So Spicy Food Guy challenges his readers -- what was left off that should have been included? What on the list is a sham? Let the debate begin.

Best Twist on a Philly Cheesesteak

So it's spring break week. Spicy Food Guy, Beautiful Spouse of Spicy Food Guy (BSOSFG), Curious Stepdaughter of Spicy Food Guy (CSOSFG), and Wild Child Stepdaughter of Spicy Food Guy (WCSOSFG) load up the car with pillows, stuffed animals, ipods, and various toiletries and head off to Washington DC for a little sightseeing.

On the drive into DC, Spicy Food Guy makes the command decision (after checking with BSOSFG) to stop for lunch at the Waffle House.

Spicy Food Guy looovvves the Waffle House. He finds it authentic, gritty, real. More American, let's say, than the International House of Pancakes, which sounds sophisticated, worldly, and incredibly pretentious.

So Spicy Food Guy and party enter the Waffle House at the same time the computer goes out, the shift changes, it gets busy, or all of the above. Hard to tell. A bit chaotic, a bit confused. Kind of like Spicy Food Guy's own life, so he feels very much at home.

Spicy Food Guy orders the Texas Bacon Patty Melt, which of course he doesn't get. What he gets is the Texas Cheesesteak Melt, which is about ten times better, not to mention it represents a major step forward in innovation as it relates to the Philly Cheesesteak. Same juicy chopped steak and cheese, except rather than being served in a big old sub roll that mutes the juiciness, it comes in texas toast, which actually brings out the cheesesteak flavors in a kind of buttery goodness. Spicy Food Guy was in heaven, joined there by his hash browns that he ordered smothered and covered (onions and cheese).

CSOSFG, she of the sophisticated palette, spoke highly of the Bacon, Egg, and Cheese Wraps she ordered. Not surprising, given they disappeared within minutes. Not that Spicy Food Guy casts any judgment -- the girl knows her food. Just one of many reasons Spicy Food Guy loves her so much.

Best Burger in DC

So it's the end of Day 1 of Washington DC sightseeing and Spicy Food Guy and weary family head back to their hotel near Dupont Circle.

But Spicy Food Guy's day is not over just yet. Acting on a tip from Sogoodblog.com, Spicy Food Guy is driven to try a burger from the famous Five Guys, which has won numerous awards and has been declared DC's best burger by Washingtonian Magazine every year since the Jurassic era.

Spicy Food Guy is here to say that, despite making boneheaded decisions to fight wars in wretched foreign countries, ruin the economy, and destroy the environment forever, the people of the District of Columbia know how to spot a good burger.

Spicy Food Guy ordered the Bacon Burger with all the toppings (which he now in the know orders "all the way"), and he got the girls some French Fries. Spicy Food Guy thought the burger actually exceeded his expectations, which is technically never allowed to happen on a family vacation. The burger itself reminded him very much of an In-N-Out Burger ordered animal style. Curious Stepdaughter of Spicy Food Guy (CSOSFG) declared the fries some of the best she had ever eaten. We immediately agreed that further investigation was needed, and a future trip was hastily planned.

Next trip Spicy Food Guy ordered the Cheeseburger, and each of the Stepdaughters ordered a burger as well. CSOSFG clearly enjoyed her bacon cheeseburger, but young Wild Child Stepdaughter of Spicy Food Guy (WCSOSFG) was very suspicious of a freshly prepared non-frozen patty grilled right and juicy. And no steamed bun. She is a child of the McDonalds generation, but someday she will shed her bonds.

So declares a very full Spicy Food guy.

Best Chili Cheese Fast Food Item

Several months ago, Spicy Food Guy mourned the demise of the Taco Bell Chilito. The flour tortilla, the chili, the cheese; all combine for the optimal fast food palette experience. And it was lost to us. Gone forever.

Enter Sonic Drive In and the Frito Chili Cheese Wrap. Not only are all components of the Chilito replicated, but the visionary chefs of Sonic have recognized the need to add a "crunch" experience to softness of the tortilla, chili, and cheese. Spicy Food Guy is keenly aware of the public lack of appreciation given to this step change in culinary brilliance. Spicy Food Guy can only bow low to the developers of this ingenious wrap.

There are other reasons to clebrate the Sonic menu. Curious Stepdaughter of Spicy Food Guy (CSOSFG), she of the sophisticated palette, rightly champions the merits of the Sonic extra-long chili cheese coney. Spicy Food Guy applauds his stepdaugter's acute sense of chili dog greatness. And while the Sonic coney holds no candle to the Skyline Coney or the Varsity Chili Dog, it is a damn good chili dog served by a national chain.

Spicy Food Guy, who is a former member of the American Armed Services, knows when a salute is merited. Consider this a smartly thrown salute to the great folks at Sonic.

Best Fast Food Burger In the USA

Spicy Food Guy was already jealous of the folks on the west coast, given that they have days of endless sunshine, the Pacific Ocean, movie starlets, and mobile fish taco stands.

They also have a secret, called the In-N-Out Burger, that is unavailable to those of us in the Central and Eastern time zones.

A regional favorite, the In-N-Out Burger is a juicy, flavorful, and luscious burger that makes the folks at McDonald's and Wendy's seem like rank amateurs. Kid you not, one lunch hour in LA, Spicy Food Guy watched hundreds of customers, in a line twenty-some deep, ordering 2X2s and 3x3s like there was no tomorrow (and we are talking LA here, so the whole no tomorrow thing may be right).

And it gets better. In-N-Out has a secret menu that allows a major league burger upgrade. Spicy Food Guy orders his 2x2 animal style, and the grilled onions make all the difference. If you are forced to travel to California, the In-N-Out is a must do.

Best Discontinued Fast Food Item

How acutely does Spicy Food Guy miss the Taco Bell Chilito.

Simple concept -- chili and cheese in a flour tortilla. Add about three fire sauces. Better when reheated in the microwave at 12:30am.

Some called it the Chili Cheese Burrito, others the Chilito. It's rightful name may be lost to time. Or it may be that the term chilito is mexican slang for "small penis". If Spicy Food Guy was a Taco Bell executive, that would be a pretty motivating factor in changing the name to Chili Cheese Burrito in a big damn hurry.

But all is not lost. There is a website devoted entirely to bringing back the Taco Bell Chili Cheese Burrito. Spicy Food Guy signed the petition. They have collected over 12,000 signatures. God love the internet.