Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Flatulence and Sushi in New Jersey
OK, so Spicy Food Guy, for reasons best left unknown to the American public, traveled from New York City to northern New Jersey late last week to wrap up some unfinished business.
For lodging, SFG elected to stay at a nondescript Marriott. And to get his daily workout in, Spicy Food Guy elected to work out in the Marriott fitness center.
That's when the trouble began.
First, SFG is obligated to point out that the Marriott fitness center is not a fitness center, per se. Rather, it is a converted hotel room or suite that can comfortably hold about six people. And that's about how many were there that fateful day last week.
Early in the morning, SFG decided to do some ab crunches. Bad idea. Halfway into the set, SFG experienced some, how should we say this? Flatulence.
Or rather, for Spicy Food Guy it was more like:
If you get SFG's drift.
Everyone froze for like three seconds. What to do? There really is no appropriate response in this situation, either for the flatulence producer or the startled innocent bystanders who are deciding whether to flee or fight through it, so to speak.
Spicy Food Guy, however, was in the midst of silent prayer:
"Please Lord," implored SFG, "let this be the light-misty-morning aroma. Please don't be the rare and dreaded rotting-dead-mammal cloud of poison."
Of course it was the dead mammals.
In business parlance, there was no upside here for SFG. Time to crawl away and die of mortal embarrassment. But Spicy Food Guy did not die of mortal embarrassment. Instead, he decided to go out for sushi with some colleagues.
(Pause here. SFG recognizes the inherent awkwardness in the above transition from gym flatulence to sushi, but the gym thing was funny, and Spicy Food Guy needed to weave it in the story somehow.)
Now to establish context, Spicy Food Guy is a reasonably seasoned sushi eater. SFG has eaten a lot of good sushi in a lot of places, east coast to west coast. So let it be known here that SFG found the Sushi Lounge in Morristown NJ to be among the finest sushi dinners he has ever had anywhere.
SFG knows your response. It weirds him out, too.
Let's say you are a fan of sushi. Let's say you are a fan of Chilean Sea Bass. The Sushi Lounge has combined the best of both into the Chilean Sea Bass Roll, marinated in a yuzu and soy glaze and as fabulous a sushi roll that SFG has ever put into his mouth. There is also a Tempura Sea Bass Roll. The flaky tenderness of the sea bass combines with the crunch of the tempura so that the whole roll is a culinary explosion of texture and taste.
SFG and his colleagues also enjoyed the Lobster Crunch Roll, which combines lobster, crab, wasabi, toasted almonds, and endamame. Who thought of this? They should win an award. Several awards.
And what of the Baja Roll? Soft shell crab and shrimp tempura, guacamole, roasted red peppers and served with a mustard dressing. Does SFG really need to explain how delicious this was?
So pleasantly surprised, Spicy Food Guy filled his belly with some of the most interesting and tasty sushi rolls he has ever had. And the atmosphere of the Sushi Lounge is both light yet intimate, so it has a quirkiness that lends itself to good company and conversation.
Go to the Sushi Lounge. Stay at the Marriott.
Spicy Food Guy will see you in the gym.
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